How to Master Fear of Not Being Successful in 3 Simple Steps

"We need to accept that we won't always make the right decisions, that we'll screw up royally sometimes – understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success." ― Arianna Huffington

Fear of Failure is detrimental than failure itself. It stops up from achieving our full potential and jeopardizes our development. It is what holds people back in life. Most of us are frantic of failing. But what exactly is failure? 

According to oxford dictionary failure means an unsuccessful person or thing. But it is time we stop seeing failure as the opposite of success. Rather failure is a part of success. A person who keeps on trying can't be a failure because even if you fail nine times you will eventually succeed in the tenth time one day.

It is easier to say that we should keep on trying and we will succeed but that idea of not being successful and not knowing if you will succeed is dreadful. I never realized how dreadful I was of failing until recently.

The Fear of Failing is an Obstacle

I have always been a very studious child who would come first in all her classes. But as my achievements grew so did my expectations. I felt I had to achieve even more or else I might become a failure. Everyone was so proud of me, my teachers, my parents. I just couldn't let them down. Everything was a competition and coming second was not an option. That's why I had anxiety over the roof whenever I gave any exam.

In 9th class I was completely blank during my computer paper because I was so tensed and, in that term, a friend of mine came first and I felt everyone will see me as a failure now. I was devastated thinking about how I will face everyone. But to my shock nobody said anything. I was sure everyone thinks I'm a failure now, but nothing changed everyone treated me the same. At first some of my classmates did mock me a little but soon everyone was busy with their own life. 

If I was not so worried thinking about what people might think about be and would have rather focused on just studying, I wouldn't have been blank on the day of my computer exam.

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥ 

There is a beauty and struggle of being a competitive person. It's like a double-edged sword where the sharp side pushes you to work hard so you don't fail, and the blunt side makes you wonder... what will people think about me if I'm not successful?

Accept your mistakes.

The most difficult part of making a mistake is accepting the mistake. The sooner we accept our mistake the easier it becomes for us to move on. It is humane to make mistakes and we will take wrong decisions; make mistakes and we will fail. 

Some mistakes are amendable, but some are not. But in both the cases, the important aspect is to learn from the mistakes.

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

Never give up

“An error is not a mistake until you refuse to correct it.” We will make mistakes, but the important thing is that we don't give up and try again. We keep on trying till we succeed. When you clear JEE advanced or become an IAS officer nobody will ask you how many times you failed or which attempt this was, they will only see your success.

People won't see your struggle they will only see your success.

Give your 100% 

Passion drives perfection. But absolute perfection belongs not to man, nor to angels, but to God alone. When we realize that success is just a superficial standard that we have set for ourselves, and that every time we reach that standard it goes higher, we will start working freely and more efficiently. Setting a goal is important but it isn't the end of our life. We should always give our best and hope for the worst. 

 

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst and expect nothing